So today, I was having a challenging telephone conversation with my husband, and in the midst of it, a basket full of my hair ties, barretts, etc. were dumped out (by my children) and cleaned up (by me) four times. My children always have impeccable timing. They seem to know just when to attack...to plot against me. Well, upon hanging up the phone, I croucehd to my knees to clean up (yet again) the articles that were strewn all over my bedroom floor. This added to the frustration my phone call left me feeling, sent me over the edge. I cried. I yelled something about being tired of cleaning up all the messes. Something about the living room always being a disaster. Addyson, having never seen me do this, started crying too. Talk about adding insult to injury. Immediately I thought "oh perfect, what sort of psychological damage am I doing to her?"
I pulled my crap together and told her not to worry, that sometimes mommy's had a hard time. Then, I instructed her to go wait for me in the living room while I put Colton down for a nap. So I changed his diaper, and put him down. Bless this baby for being such a wonderful sleeper.
As I come out toward the living room I see Addyson carrying a box of pasta from the living room to the pantry. Curious, I make my way to the living room to see that she has cleaned a large portion of the room. All the toys that she could manage were put back in the toy basket, and the accent pillows were put back on the couches. Immediately tears sting my eyes. I can't believe that my little daughter has such a huge amount of compassion already. I can' t believe that I made her feel so insecure that she felt like she needed to please me that way. Now...to figure out how to do that every day ;)
27 comments:
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You are so funny. It'll be okay. We all lose it sometimes. It's a great thing that Addyson made you feel better the only way she knew how. How smart is she? {:)
You know, I have no children yet, but I've been Aunt Shannon for nearly 18 years. Constant exposure to stuff like fighting or losing it is not good no, but I think it once in a while is okay, expecailly if it can't be avoided or has been building.
Don't be too hard on yourself. Your human. You show emotion. You make mistakes. And your showing your children that even though sometimes something goes wrong, it's not the end of the world & everything will be okay.
Stop by sometime.
Blessings,
Shannon
Ahhh sweetie don't be so hard on yourself.. we all do it.
Nah, no psychological damage! Enjoy it while she still cares that you are upset and having a bad day. I have teenagers and while they do occasionally observe the fact that I'm having a bad day and try to help out most of the time it's all about them. ;)
I think it is actually good for our children to show weakness and to have these moments, because everyone does. If we try to walk around like Stepford Wives, our children will never learn how to manage their natural reactions.
I consider myself a pretty calm person, so when I lose it, it really catches my son off guard. When I realize I've yelled or overreacted (maybe throwing a toy I've picked up 10 times in the trash), I talk to little man and explain that mommy is human and has feelings too.
I totally feel your pain! Sometimes I "snap" at my kids and they look at me with tears in their eyes! Then I apologize and vow never to do it again...but what do ya know, a few days later mommy "snaps" again! Oh dear. It's a wonder I haven't taken up drinking...
I think I know just how you feel. Don't worry, tomorrow is another day. Another day to see how we can further screw up our children. ;)
I swear it's hit or miss.
Some times I have these break downs and they really jump in and make it all better, and I feel Loved.
Other times I feel like no one even noticed and they all are a bunch of crap, lol. (I can say that...I have teenagers..)
I'm so glad it went the first way for you:) What a sweetie:)
The fact that she was cleaning up after seeing your frustration speaks volumes of your sweet daughter's character. And you have great impact on building that character. We all have our off moments, but I can see that you have instilled some really good values in your children.
Oh, I lose it like this about every 6 months or so. It all gets to be too much and it breaks my heart when my little guy reacts like that too. I figure if he gets to through more fits than is humanly possible, one every once in awhile won't hurt him psychologically.
That's so precious, seeing her cleaning up for you. Doesn't that just melt your heart?
Don't feel bad, I lose it all the time. Ok, not ALL the time, but often enough. I think we would go nuts if we didn't let it out once and a while. Plus, then you can just come blog about it and feel better! :-)
Thought I would leave a comment here, bc I didn't know if you would come back & check the post...
Those 3 children our my neice & nephews that I love dearly. They live across the ally & keep us pretty busy. While I have posted pictures of Lisa before, that is the first time I pasted a picture of my nephews. I kinda feel I don't have the right to post pics of Other People's Children (OPC) unless I get the okay to do so.
I hope you visit again - feel free to stay awhile, if you want - I don't bite {:)
Blessings, Shannon
I think its absolutely important for a child to see their parents get upset and also as important to see their parents 'get over it'. I think too many of my friends 'never cried' or never saw their parents cry that when they do.. it like rocks their world... or when they themselves need to explode its either self-destructive or outwardly destructive.
I think its super sweet that your daughter wanted to help you and I would congratulate you on being such a great mom to have an empathetic child that wants to help.
:)
Awww, they don't say being a mom is the hardest job in the world for nothing. You are a great mom and must be doing a wicked good job to have instilled that much compassion in your little girl. How wonderful, we've all been there so don't be too hard on yourself.
You got her to clean up? I'm so jealous.
I think I probably say at least one thing a day that my boys could later hold against me in therapy. And that's on the good days.
I'm so sorry you are having a hard time. There isn't much worse than feeling that way and still having to be mom. We can't just go lock our selves in our rooms and feel bad. I think it is ok that they see you get upset and cry on occasion and it is admirable that you explained your feelings to them. They won't grow up thinking that something is wrong if they are sad or having a hard time. It is good to know your parents are human. Hang in there!
What an amazing girl you have there...
Isn't this the challenge as parents? To always remember to put ourselves second and our children first. It's hard... it takes practice... I definitely am no where close to "having it down" yet. Not sure I ever will.
~Elizabeth
Confessions From A Working Mom
I have had a few of those days... and you have such guilt... yet... you feel as though it 'might' finally sink in too.... ;) not sure who is more psychologically damaged after a melt down... me or the kids! darn that guilt!
Jenn~
Awww we have all be there. Sometimes I think its a good thing for our kids to see us cry in frustration...it helps them to know that we have feelings too!
Aw, too funny! I love your writing style! What an enjoyable blog you have!
You've just described a day at my house. SO sweet that your daughter cleaned up. I wish mine would sometimes get the hint when I'm at my wit's end....
I know it's so hard sometimes. But you're not alone. We're all mucking our way through this motherhood stuff together!
I'd ALMOST feel bad for the psychological things done to my kids...that's if they hadn't already messed with me! Ok, so it does make me feel bad, but boy oh boy can they really push things.
It's funny how when you're just about to the very edge of what you can take, they do something that pulls you back from the edge.
Dare I ask what they were doing with uncooked pasta in the living room?
That is so sweet that your daughter did that. I was the kind of kid that would do something like that for my parents though.
Big hugs to you, my friend. I'm sorry your day was so tough. Don't beat yourself up too much - children are vry resilient. Tomorrow is a new day.
((hugs))
I miss you!
I need to figure out how to do that with my children. I am not above a little crying even if I have to use an onion to do it. lol
I loose it like that too. Especially when its something that happens all the time. Ugh.... I feel ya. But hey she cleaned up!
Hello
Oh I think that was a precious moment for you about your daughter.She seems very lovely for you..I really like that you have shared this moment with us.
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